Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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