I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
