woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
