Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
