So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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