Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
