i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
