Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
