they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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