Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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