You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I still have a little drunk in my system
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
