don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
