When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
