just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
