Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize