There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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