wakey wakey hands off snakey
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
