You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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