who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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