your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
