Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
