We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
