Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
