Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
