Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
