real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
