he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
