all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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