why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
