i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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