found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
