would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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