she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I don't think brook has ever known best
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
