Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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