I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
