im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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