They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
