I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize