bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone stole a lamp last night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
