Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
