She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
