i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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