Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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