Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize