Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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