Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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