clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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