We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
