Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
