You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
