grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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