well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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