the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
