the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
