Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
