They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
