it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
