My first STD was from a foam party
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
