Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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