I look better un-naked...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
