So drunk its hurt
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
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