My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
