Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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