my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
