tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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