just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
