it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Randomize
