Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
