Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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