Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
