Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
